All beginnings are hard...

I spent a majority of my first week in Germany in a start of constant fear.  Everything was new and terrible and wonderful and most worrying of all - in German!  I shocked myself with realization that not only was everything in German but I didn't speak German.  And to make it even better I had signed up to live here for the next three months.  What an excellent idea that was!  I vaguely remember unpacking my suitcase and talking to myself the entire time about how much of a fool I was.  

Now that I'm in the midst of week three it all seems a bit silly but in the moment I was terrified.  I would do ridiculous things such as sneaking around the dorm hall trying to avoid interacting with my German floormates.  The lack of internet access made it even worse.  Complaining about a lack of internet access may seem absurd but it was incredibly isolating and nerve racking.  

There is a German proverb; All beginnings are hard.  I clung to this proverb throughout that first week.  In this midst of my panic I felt that the only thing that would be worse than being here would not being here.  This beginning has been the hardest one I've encountered in my lifetime but I'm certain that it will be infinitely more rewarding than those which were easy.  This experience will be filled with good madness. 

    

I will leave you tonight with another quote that I've been thinking about lately.  These words were a comfort to me as struggled through that first week. 

"It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default."

-J.K. Rowling